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Friday, June 25, 2010

Reformed bachelor and author advises: “Break up, Don’t Break Down”

All hope is NOT gone when it comes to a ladies man reverting into a monogamous one. But it has to happen on his time. Just ask D. Ivan Young, author of the latest self-help book entitled “Break up, don’t break down.” Young, now a recognized life coach and relationship expert, openly admits to living the wild life of a bachelor in his twenties and early thirties, but it took a rebuilding of his spirituality for him to realize it was time to grow up. “First I got God in my life,” Young shared. “Second, the woman that I was dating had good sense to say ’I am not gonna be one of two or three women you go out with. I will wait until you get your stuff together and decide you really want to settle down.’ By the time I made that decision, she was gone like a woman with good sense should do.”

So, you may ask, what makes this former ladies’ man a relationship expert? Because of his tumultuous experiences and mistakes in his past relationships coupled with his education, Young can speak to his readers first hand, in a clear language that cuts right to the chase. In his latest book, “Break up, Don’t break down,” he addresses the cause and effects of many breakups and divorces in America and prevention methods towards making a relationship work. He also talks about the importance of moving on after a break-up and how to deal with the separation. “So many people don’t want to get into a relationship now because of what happened last time,” said Young. “People don’t realize that when you meet somebody else, they’ve already been through their fair share of hell too. Women are saying, well ‘men don’t understand us,’ and men are saying ‘women aren’t feelin’ us’. It doesn’t matter what your gender is. Hurt is hurt, baggage is baggage. And until we look at why we‘re hurting and what kind of baggage we got, how can you move forward if you haven‘t let go of what‘s been holding you hostage from the past?”

Young explains in the introduction of the book that it will serve as a
“supportive, non-judgmental companion” as opposed to advice from friends and confidants we often talk to during breakups who will often have a biased opinion. “What (the book) is gonna do is help change your life and get (away) from what you‘ve given yourself to settle for and put you in a position to receive what God is trying to give you,“ Young expressed.

To order “Break Up, Don’t Break down” go to


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